Why communication is key to a stress-free wedding

Besides hiring a planner or coordinator (heeeey), the #1 key to a stress-free wedding is communication. Why? Because when you communicate it tells people what to expect. And people are always more comfortable, and then more likely have fun and relax, when their expectations are clear and are met. So here are my top five ways to clearly communicate in order to eliminate wedding-related stress!

Communicate with Family and Wedding Party

Photo by Amanda Gilley

From the early stages of your wedding, make sure you find out what your parents (and any other family members or close friends who will be involved) want and expect from your wedding. What are their priorities? What are your priorities? Do you have to do everything they want? No. But people always respond better when they feel heard. Plus, you may think you know what your family wants, and then make decisions based on assumptions - when in fact, their real priority is something completely different. As the day gets closer, also make sure to clearly communicate what you need and expect from them - who will be giving a toast (and how long should it be? Answer? 2-3 minutes!)? Where do they need to be for photos? What is the general timing of the day? Again, when people know what to expect, they can relax and (gasp!) have fun!!

Create a Wedding Website

Photo by Porter Watkins

Please oh please, if you don’t do anything else, make a wedding website. Embrace all the amazing options we have out there today and communicate details and information super easily to your guests via your wedding website. I always recommend putting your wedding website address on your Save The Date, if possible. Things to make sure to include? Logistics! Transportation, travel and hotel information, the timing of the day, gifts/registration information, and attire. Want grumpy guests? Don’t mention the ceremony is on grass and have women grumble about their stilettos getting stuck in the mud. The more guests know, the more they can prepare and be ready to enjoy their day.

The other reason to share all of these details? So you don’t get phone calls and emails with questions you have to answer!

It’s also a great place to share more information about you as a couple and the wedding party, so people can start to get to know one another. You can give guests ideas of things to do in the area. Nowadays you can also collect RSVPs online which is a HUGE time-saver. And most importantly, any other small, unique details about your day can be shared there - wedding hashtags (see below!), unique ceremonies, all of those can be described or communicated on the website.

Use those wedding welcome bags

Photo by Love Life Images

Welcome bags aren’t just to make your guests feel welcome (and provide that oh-so-necessary water and Advil for the next morning). It’s a great place to communicate with your guests. Lots of couples include an info sheet (frankly, repeating the details on the wedding website!) to hit home the important information guests need to know. Use those welcome bags to your full advantage and slip some info in there to make sure guests know what’s up!

Programs

Photo by DeNeuva Photography

As I mentioned, above, nowadays I find lots of ceremonies that have unique elements to them. Whether you’re blending religions or cultures, want an “unplugged” wedding (aka no cell phone photos please), or simply want to share more information about what’s going to happen during the ceremony, programs are a great way to communicate with guests so that they feel comfortable and don’t have questions or feel uneasy about what’s going on. Learning about what the chuppah represents, or why a certain reading means so much to you allows them to relax and connect to the ceremony.

#Hashtags

Photo by Love Life Images

Wedding hashtags can also be a really fun way to communicate with your guests during and AFTER the wedding. By encouraging guests to use a specific, unique-to-you wedding hashtag, you can find guests photos after-the-fact, comment, and enjoy the fun again, after the day is over. If you DO decide to go with a wedding hashtag, make sure to communicate the hashtag widely, both on your wedding website, programs, and even signage throughout the reception!

Unique Wedding Activities

One of our most popular blog posts is the post I did about our family’s annual tradition of hosting our own lip sync battle (yes, seriously). It made me realize a round up of some of our favorite unique wedding activities that we’ve seen The Plannery clients do over the years could be fun and provide some inspiration for those looking to add a little twist to their wedding day. So check out some fun options below and get inspired!

Wedding Professional Performances

Photo by Justin McCallum

Yup - we’ve had some clients really go all out. My favorite was the wedding we recently featured that hired a very famous Beyonce drag performer to surprise their guests after their first dance. It was insane and amazing and so much freaking fun!

Wedding Silent Disco

Photo by Josef Sullivan Photography

Tarra worked a wedding (that will be featured on our blog soon!) where they did a silent disco! I love this idea, especially for any venues that have sound/noise restrictions! Such a fun way to work past those limitations and still have an awesome, unique wedding!

Wedding Flash Mob

Photo by Tell Chronicles

I once got an email from the mother of the bride asking me to help with a surprise - she and a ton of other family members had put together a flash mob to surprise the bride during the reception with a huge dance to celebrate. It was so much fun and the bride loved it - it definitely got the dance party started, too! This obviously takes some rehearsal and planning/prep work, but it’s worth it if you know someone who loves dancing and loves surprises :)

Wedding Lip Sync Battle

I obviously had to include this one. One of our couples did a huge, hilarious lip sync battle at their holud, the night before their wedding. People really ran with it, including ridiculous costumes…

Photos by Ayesha Ahmad Photography

Wedding Performance by a Bride or Groom

Photo by Sarah Gormley

This one is personal for me - my husband surprised me with a song he'd written me at our wedding. But we’ve also had one of our clients who was a musician with the US Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps, surprise her husband with a performance. Whatever your talent is - it’s a fun time to share it with your new partner!

Mascots!

Photo by Ayesha Ahmad

Photo by DuHon Photography

Photo by Edward Underwood

You can’t go wrong with inviting local mascots to the wedding. I’ve had brides invite them to surprise the groom, I’ve had them act as ushers, and I’ve had them simply join the dance party (which even got some local press!). They’re also always a fun photo opp for guests, too!

Fun accessories!

Photo by Ayesha Ahmad Photography

One of my weddings bought these amazing bracelets that were gifted to all guests that lit up, changed colors, and flashed at different times based on the music that was being played. It was super fun and made it feel like a real dance party

Adam and Ryan's Carnegie Institution of Science DC Wedding

Photo by Justin McCallum

Adam and Ryan signed on to work with me back when I was about to have my 2nd baby! I helped them get started - nailed down the venue and some of the major vendors, had my baby (!), then came back to help them out with the rest of their planning. And I’m SO blessed and thankful that they took a chance on a very pregnant woman. This might have been one of my favorite weddings of all time. They were so much fun to work with and I knew that their love and their wedding would be so special. Justin McCallum’s awesome photos capture every moment, big and small. They started the day with some photos around the Carnegie Institution of Science. Then after signing the license with friends and family, they had a beautiful ceremony in the round. One of my favorite details was that they’d ordered two custom gobos - one for during the ceremony (which listed both of their “maiden” names), and one after, pronouncing them, The Hunters :)

After the cocktail hour, their wedding party had some of the most fabulous entrances I’ve ever seen, including their officiant walking in to Like a Prayer, the ring bearer dancing, and of course, Ryan clacking that fan.

Dinner by Main Event Catering was delicious, as was their stunning custom cake (which incorporated their married logo) by Fluffy Thoughts.

And then… it was the best part of the night. Adam and Ryan did their first dance to Beyonce’s XO, and then announced the incredible Riley Knoxx. This infamous Beyonce performer surprised the guests with a 20 minute set and kicked off the dance party like no one else. (and BTW, she also appears in Taylor Swift’s new music video!). It was legit one of the best weddings I’ve had the honor of being a part of - I need more Beyonce in my life (who doesn’t??).

Thank you and congrats again to Adam and Ryan for allowing me to help plan and organize this awesome day! And a special shout out to Scorpio Entertainment. They not only kicked ass as DJ but had a ton of other elements to coordinate - like Riley’s performance/lighting/sound, the special logo lighting, etc - and nailed it all.

Adam and Ryan’s Vendors:

Planner: Katie Wannen, The Plannery

Venue: Carnegie Institution of Science

Caterer: Main Event Caterers

Photographer: Justin McCallum

DJ, Lighting, and Sound: Scorpio Entertainment

Florist: Highway to Hill

Cake: Fluffy Thoughts

Hair/Make-up: Ebonie Jones

Performance! by Riley Knoxx

Ellie and Nicholas, Longview Gallery, Washington DC Wedding

Photo by Sarah Gormley

Ellie and Nicholas got married at Longview Gallery, one of my favorite non-traditional wedding venues in DC. They were such a unique couple - their wedding hashtag was #acrosstheaisle - a nod to the fact that she’s a Democrat, and he’s a Republican. You can’t get more DC than that!! Their day started with some photos in the area (by the incredible Sarah Gormley). After a beautiful ceremony, they had cocktails in the back gallery while we flipped the ceremony space into the dining room - so they could eat the incredible meal from Well Dunn! Dancing and sweet treats (including mini Jeni’s ice creams…yummm) followed. He is in the military, and they honored that part of him not only by using his sword for the cake cutting, but with their cake toppers (incredible yoga soldier statues! Yoga for her, soldier for him). My most favorite detail, however, was their “guest book” - two posters for guests to sign: one of Reagan, the other of Obama.

Enjoy this awesome DC wedding! And congrats again Ellie and Nicholas!

Ellie and Nicholas’s Vendors:

Venue: Longview Gallery

Coordinator: Katie Wannen, The Plannery

Caterer: Well Dunn

Photographer: Sarah Gormley

DJ: DJ Evan Reitmeyer

Florist: Uncloudy Studios

Ceremony Music: Tiffany Rose Violin

Hair/Make-up: Ariel Lewis

What does a wedding coordinator actually DO?

Photo by Jess Latos

This week we're talking about wedding coordinators!

What to look for in a wedding coordinator? I firmly believe all wedding vendors should make the PROCESS (not just the day-of) easier. Look for a coordinator who is a clear communicator, easy to talk to, friendly, real and who also reflects your values (#loveislove folks!)

Does a coordinator only help out on the day of? NO! We are usually involved months ahead of time, to help couples with their timeline, look for any red flags in the structure and organization of the day, coordinate all details with all vendors, and do a final walk through of the venue. There's no way to do a good job on the day-of without prior planning and involvement.

Coordinators are also important because we help run the rehearsals, along with your officiant. We help line up and organize all wedding party members, talk through (and physically put them!) where they'll be during the ceremony, and cue both the music as well as the actual processional and recessional. All those small logistical details matter!

One of a coordinator's most important jobs is to make sure everyone else is doing their job! We are there at load-in to make sure the caterer, venue, sound/music, lighting and all other vendors are there on time, setting up as they're supposed to, and everything is going according to plan. Trust me, you want someone ELSE worrying about whether the DJ is an hour late (which has happened to me - it all worked out) :)

So what does a coordinator do during a wedding? I always say we think of it as a cueing system - we're always 5-10 minutes ahead of what's actually happening, thinking ahead to the next transition and what needs to happen to make it run smoothly. So why have a coordinator? So your DJ doesn't announce the toasts while the bride is in the bathroom (something I've seen happen at a wedding I didn't coordinate!). A coordinator helps all those seemingly effortless moments happen.

Introducing... our new Planner and Coordinator!

Photo by Duhon Photography

I’ve been hoping to add to The Plannery’s team for some time. But as you may remember before Tarra joined our team… I’m picky as hell. The Plannery is my first baby, and I’m very protective of it. I want to make sure anyone who joins is fully on board with our vibe, our high quality, our no-nonsense approach, and - obviously - gets sh*t done.

Which is why I’m thrilled to announce that Rebecca O’Donnell will be joining The Plannery as a Senior Planner and Coordinator. I’ve been obsessed with Rebecca pretty much since I met her years and years ago. In a sea of sugary sweet (and, frankly, bland) planners, she stood out for how direct and hilarious she was - and after she assisted me for a wedding where I needed help last minute (and also saved my butt), I also discovered that she’s a damned good planner. Very talented, gets it all done, kind and generous, funny, but also will be the driving force you sometimes need when making decisions (or dealing with difficult family or vendors).

Please join me in a hearty “welcome” to Rebecca - and head on over to our updated About page to learn more about her (including her own amazing wedding which I’m pretty much obsessed with). And don’t forget to check out our updated testimonials page to hear what clients say about her (and you can also always visit her old Wedding Wire page to see some reviews from past clients there as well!).

Rebecca, The Plannery is SO lucky to have you and cannot wait for all the sh*t we’re gonna get done for couples in 2019 :)

John and Jonathan's Long View Gallery, Washington, DC wedding

Susan Hornyak Photography

John and Jonathan were referred to me fairly last minute by some other clients of mine. I jumped in, super excited to work at Long View again and with this awesome couple - and on the day of DC pride, no less! Such a fun touch for their wedding day! 

John and Jonathan really wanted their evening to feel like a party - and they made some lovely small decisions that helped that vibe follow through. One of my favorites is that they greeted guests at the door prior to the ceremony. A reverse receiving line of sorts, I thought it was such a lovely touch that made guests feel welcome and made it an intimate affair. Their ceremony was also laid out with two aisles - an awesome decision that allowed the room to physically embody these two lives coming together, joining into a wonderful partnership and marriage. 

Post ceremony we had cocktails in the back gallery (with a champs bar, to boot), followed by a meal in the front gallery that featured three different stations for guests to visit which encouraged mingling and chatting. The room was stunning, with an awesome layout and rentals that really reflected the industrial vibe of Longview. 

Post dinner we all headed back to the gallery for The Bachelor Boys and the guys and their guests danced the night away!

Congrats again, John and Jonathan! And big thanks to Susan Hornyak Photography for the wonderful photos.

John and Jonathan's Vendors:

Coordination: Katie Wannen, The Plannery

Venue: Long View Gallery

Caterer: Occasions Catering

Photographer: Susan Hornyak Photography

Band: The Bachelor Boys

Draping: Fabrication Events

Lighting: John Farr

Floral: Uncloudy Studio

Monica and Jason's Woodend Sanctuary wedding

Photo by George Street Photo

Monica and Jason were married on the perfect summer/fall cusp day at the ever beautiful Woodend Sanctuary.  I really loved that Monica rocked her long, luxurious locks in a completely down-do by Styled by Anna Fazio. All of her bridesmaids sported half-up/half-down dos to round things out and they all happened to be brunettes…talk about complimentary looks!  

Although I was not present in the room, I know that Monica and Jason had the most special and intimate ceremonial Ketubah signing before their wedding. The actual Ketubah was spectacular with a vibrant blue circular design. It was displayed at the wedding ceremony alongside the equally spectacular chuppah designed by Growing Wild Floral.

Before their Ketubah signing the couple shared another intimate moment with their first look.  I usually am busy and/or want to give couples privacy during this time, but I couldn’t resist sneaking a peak on this one. It was so moving to watch Monica in her stunning dress walk along a picturesque path and reach out to touch Jason. His reaction was so freaking priceless and captured perfectly by Kyle Bergner with George Street Photo.

I would be remiss not to mention the guest appearance by their fur baby, Hunter.  Monica and Jason gave lots of thought about how much they wanted Hunter at the wedding, but realized how it would be logistically difficult and settled on an epic cardboard cut-out of him instead! A happy and hilarious compromise that made for a fun addition to their DIY photo guestbook station.   

This wedding had all the best elements. Wonderful couple, simplicity, class, and joy. Congrats to Monica and Jason!

Monica and Jason's Vendors:

Coordination: Tarra Morgan, The Plannery

Venue: Woodend Sanctuary

Catering: Corcoran Catering

DJ: DJ Evan Reitmeyer

Photography and Videography: George Street Photo

Florist: Growing Wild Floral

Hair: Styled by Anna Fazio

Make-up: Real Doll Makeup

Claire and Sam's Stone Tower Winery Vineyard Wedding

Photo by Anne Lord Photography

Claire and Sam were partial planning clients of mine. They were my last wedding pre-baby (!) and it was so wonderful to end my wedding season on such a high note. A fabulous, friendly couple to be around, their wedding day was equally awesome. Stone Tower Winery is such a gem (just check out these stunning photos by Anne Lord Photography as evidence) - and the rest of the vendor team, A La Carte Catering, Love Blooms, and DJ Andrew Logan, were a dream to work with as well. Enjoy these lovely pics and dream of warmer days while you do!

Congrats again, Claire and Sam!

Claire and Sam's vendors:

Planning: Katie Wannen, The Plannery

Venue: Stone Tower Winery

Caterer: A La Carte Caterers

Photographer: Anne Lord

DJ: DJ Andrew Logan

Flowers: Love Blooms

Ceremony and Cocktail Music: Loudon Quartet

Hair/Make-up: Alison Harper & Co

Transportation: Point to Point Limo