SubCulture NYC Opening Celebration

This past weekend I traveled quite a bit in the span of a few days. First, I headed up to CT to attend the engagement party my parents were throwing for my brother (and no, I’m not planning the wedding - I want to party, not work!).

Afterwards I headed to NYC to help two very old, dear friends with the official opening party for their great new space, SubCulture.

SubCulture is a subterranean music and arts venue - a place to bring eclectic yet accessible music and creative arts performances to the people of NYC. On top of that, I might add, this amazing space is available for rent - ie: someone needs to do a wedding here, stat, and let me plan it. Or a birthday party. Or an anniversary party. Just party here and let me help, ok? Seriously, though, if you're in the NYC area you need to check this place out - they have awesome performances lined up and it's a guaranteed fun evening.

This venue is actually quite similar to where I held my own wedding (a local music venue). It’s awesome for several reasons:

1. They put a lot of thought into the decor and design. It's industrial chic and you don’t have to do much to the space, just work with what they’ve already done. Even the bathrooms are cool (seriously, I swear). For example, check out this awesome installation as you walk down the stairs to the space - so hip:

2. Built-in bar, built-in amazing audio equipment, built-in lighting = easy and rad. Enough said. You don't need multiple vendors, the space has a lot of items covered for you.

3. The space is versatile and creative. You can have fun and get creative with your floorplan and set-up.

I had a great time helping their opening celebration take place. Big congrats again to the Kaplan brothers for making it happen - proud and honored to be a part of it. Now move to DC and open one here, please.

Anniversary Parties

I’ve been planning a lot of anniversary parties this year. This past fall my husband, brother-in-law and sister-in-law surprised our parents with a 40th anniversary party. We held it in a private room at a local restaurant and kept it on the intimate side to make sure friends and family had a chance to talk and celebrate. It was a great evening, with great food and beverage, and they were actually very surprised (as you can see....)

I’m no florist, but I put together some simple arrangements, and my sister-in-law had a caricature done of the two of them which guests then signed as a memento for the evening.

More recently, at the end of March I traveled back to NYC to help celebrate my sister’s 10 year anniversary with her partner. They, too, wanted to keep it simple and intimate - with about 40-50 people - so we again chose a private room in a local restaurant. I (yet again) played basic florist and borrowed some awesome modern bud vases from a friend to just bump up the decor ever so slightly. I also put together a little collage of photos of them and their baby in the shape of a “10” as a little surprise for them.

It was a great evening and so much fun!

Private rooms in restaurants are a great option for people looking to have smaller gatherings. They usually don’t charge you for the room/space, just for the food and drink. They also usually provide the tables, chairs, linens, and even the votives - and of course, they also provide the service. It’s a really easy, simple way to hold a small cocktail party (assuming you’re ok with paying for the food and drink). I highly recommend not forgetting restaurants when you’re thinking of venues for any gathering - even weddings!

And congrats again to all the wonderful couples in my family!

Friday Links: Practical Inspiration...and beer

Those of you who have clicked on my "Sanity Pledge" know that I'm officially a "sane" wedding vendor through the excellent blog, A Practical Wedding. They launched a new feature on their site this week called How We Did It. It features fab photos from a particular wedding and then instead of discussing the crafts, beauty, or decor of the wedding, it discusses the down and dirty practical stuff - how they pulled of their wedding, how much it cost, and what went into actually making the event happen. The best part is, the first one is a wonderful, local DC wedding! I love this feature and can't wait to see more of them on APW - so helpful for all engaged couples. This is a great new resource I discovered that creates custom banners. I am legitimately considering getting one that says "get sh!t done" and hanging it in my office.

This has been making the rounds, so you may have seen this already - but had to share this awesome proposal gone awry (or in my opinion, just made way more memorable!).

Sad and frustrating article about how changing your status to "engaged" on the internets can drive you crazy.

And finally, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I urge you all to drink some beer this weekend. This is a great photo essay (that made me quite homesick) of Sixpoint Brewery in Brooklyn. Sweet Action is my all-time favorite - I may need to grab a 4 pack in honor of my Irish heritage. That, or make one of these (which I had at a delicious beer pairing meal at The Vanderbilt back in my bklyn days).

Non-Traditional Wedding Showers

'Tis the season for bridal showers (or groom showers. I don’t discriminate). Showers are not necessary. Not really anymore. They developed from the ancient dowry practice (oh dear) and from there morphed into a ritual to prepare young couples for their new life and home together - more specifically, prepare the young wife to be homemaker with bed sheets, pots and pans, and other home essentials. Some argue that throwing traditional bridal showers in this day and age establishes women in their “expected” role as family cook, homemaker and sexual partner. I have to disagree. I realize the ritual is steeped in these difficult, very traditional and complicated sexist ideas. But I still had a bridal shower. And here’s why - I don’t think women hang out enough together. And I loved the idea of gathering my favorite women of all ages in one room and actually honoring them (even though technically they were honoring me). So as you may imagine if you know me at all from this blog, I encourage you to embrace the tradition but give it your own spin. Focus on the positive - having another reason to gather and celebrate. And here’s one last tidbit. Don’t focus on the gifts**. I think we need to step beyond the bridal shower tradition of showering the bride or groom with gifts (um, isn’t that what the wedding gifts are all about??), and instead shower them with love. Plus, let’s face it. Many of us are getting married later in life and may even co-habitate with our partners before marriage. So we don’t need all those household goods. Let’s just lurve a little. **oh, and the games. THE GAMES. I am anti-games. But if you love them, do it. This post will not support them though. I don’t like toilet paper dresses. I don’t understand. If you can explain the fun of the games to me, please do. Or, if you know of legitimately FUN games, please share.

So here are some shower-ful ideas I hope you’ll enjoy:

For my shower, I specifically said that I didn’t want any gifts. So my genius sisters asked all of the guests (and even those who couldn’t attend) to give me a written recipe for marriage. Guys. It was incredible. The advice ranged from the extremely hilarious, to the incredibly heartfelt and everything in-between. And what amazed me was that with 25 different pieces of advice, there were very few repeats. My sisters made me a box to keep all of the cards, and it’s one of my most favorite, cherished items. Ever. For reals. If I ever need inspiration, I just open that box and the wisdom and love pour out.

Speaking of recipes, I’ve also heard of great recipe showers for the foodie couple. Have every guest bring their favorite recipe for their favorite dish, and by the end of the party the couple has a ton of new meals to try! If you insist on gifts, have them bring some of the baking essentials to complement their recipe (the necessary pan, the gourmet chocolate chips, or the indulgent truffles).

If they’re a party-couple, why not have a “stock the bar” shower? They may not need pots, pans, or dishes, but who wouldn’t love a fully stocked bar with all the essentials (and non-essentials)? Both partners benefit from this party which I always enjoy - AND it ensures excellent future parties will be on the horizon with delicious cocktails.

I also love this idea of having a flower arranging workshop. It’s a fun, creative experience that’s focused more on beauty and celebration rather than gifts.

Or, embrace the stereotypes and your love of Mad Men and throw a 50’s housewife shower. This one that Off-Beat Bride featured is ridiculously amazing and really makes me want to throw on some rollers and an apron.

Long story short. Ditch the dishes and gifts and the stuff so often associated with showers. Focus on the celebration and love. It’ll probably blow your mind.

The pressure to be crafty

Photo by Bonnie Sen

Guys... I have been terrible about blogging. Terrible. Per my Valentine's day post, my Puritan heritage is lashing myself for being so awful. Lots of craziness in my personal and professional life lately, so I do apologize for my absence. Trying to get back into the swing of things by getting something off my chest. Oh Happy Day, one of my favorite blogs, had a great post about what to have in stock so that you're ready to celebrate at a moment's notice, providing some great advice and ideas. It actually really ties in with this post I wrote recently, about how we quickly pulled together my Mom-in-Law's birthday celebration. All that being said, I have to respectfully disagree with the idea that you need 1 hour of crafting to prep for a party. One HOUR of crafting? For a party? The 1 hour of errands, yes. But you don't need to be crafty to party. Seriously. Like, seriously. Let's stop it with the craft pressure, ok?

I recently had two separate clients express in the MOST apologetic way (when talking about what kind of wedding reception they want) that "well, I'm... I'm not really crafty" (hung head in shame).

I got pissed. I screamed at them (in a loving way, I swear) that THEY DO NOT NEED TO BE CRAFTY TO BE BRIDES. Weddings do not need crafts to make them legitimate. Hell, they don't even need guests to be legitimate! Wedding receptions should reflect the couple who have just gotten married. Not crafty? People will be royally confused why you have hand-made burlap escort cards, a hand-made wedding cake topper, DIY-ed floral arrangements, and crafted pennant banners. Similarly, if you're not crafty then don't try and craft things for your kids birthday party, your next bbq, or the Superbowl. Let's focus on why we party and celebrate in the first place, right?

Now please don't get me wrong. My Mom is crafty. I love lots of crafty people, and if you love crafts - more power to you. They are a wonderful way to be creative and fun. And I do realize that sometimes crafting can save money (but keep in mind, it also takes time. Sometimes that time isn't worth the money saved). But this bizzarro pressure that now all weddings and celebrations need to have multiple handmade projects is absurd. So let's all take a deep breath and let this crafty DIY sh!t go with the exhale. If it's right for you, do it (and I'll help you hang the pennant banners). But if it's not, give yourself a break and realize you can and will throw an amazing, excellent celebration sans crafts.

brights and stripes

We celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday the Saturday before we left on vacation with a small dinner party hosted at our house. It was just us, my Mom and Dad-in-law and another great couple who are old friends of the family. Since we were in the midst of vacation prepping, I didn’t have a ton of time to plan the dinner party (for shame!) - but I thought I’d prove how you can quickly, cheaply, and easily turn a dinner into a celebration! My husband was doing the cooking (of course. and thank god) - and I asked him to pick up some flowers at Whole Foods while he was doing his shopping. We did a quick run to Target and I bought some crepe paper balls to hang from the chandelier. Not ashamed to say, I'm pretty sure they were $4.00

I made a rough flower arrangement from the flowers he brought home (the two extra stems I ended up snipping off right towards the bloom and putting in votive holders!).

We rolled out an old runner my Mom made for our wedding (I always love me some stripes - check out my Pinterest page if you don’t believe me), added some colorful napkins, and voila! Colorful, celebratory and ready for a birthday.

With the ridiculously tasty meal my husband prepared and some great wine, and we were ready to roll. We feasted on surf and turf: Lamb porterhouse with fresh pickles, roasted carrot with garlic butter mint glaze, pan roasted shrimp with thyme and lemon, and creamed spinach with nutmeg cayenne and mint from his new iSi whipping siphon.

Happy birthday, indeed.

a new year

2013. A brand new year. I’ll be honest – as an event planner, I should love New Years Eve. But I actually find it to be an over-rated holiday, more often than not a holiday that is built up and up and up and then therefore is somewhat of a let down.

But. I love the new year. I love new beginnings. I love taking a break and thinking about goals for the upcoming year. Fears and hopes and dreams. It’s inspiring and scary. Sort of like learning to ski when you’re 30.

I learned to ski two years ago in Whistler, BC. I’m not ashamed to say that I did it for my husband. He loves to ski, and one of the reasons I married him is that he challenges me to do things I wouldn’t normally do. So I took lessons. And I cried. A lot. It was hard, but at the end of the 3^rd and final lesson I had the basics and was proud that at 30 I’d learned to do something completely new.

I then tried again last year. And cried. A bit. But got a bit better, too.

This year I was at my in-laws’ lake house in Deep Creek Lake, MD for new years. And once again I went skiing with my husband. And this time? It was fun! I still only did the green slopes. I still took my time. But I only fell once (if you don’t count the time an as$hole snowboarder ran right into me…that was truly not my fault) - and the only tears shed were tears of joy and appreciation.

Somehow it felt really right that my skiing journey clicked into place as the new year began. Learning to ski meant conquering lots of fears. It meant trusting my husband. It meant learning to be patient. It meant enjoying the challenge. And it meant I got to fly and glide with freedom over fluffy snow.

So I’m taking this time to look ahead to what 2013 might hold for me. Lots of challenges await as I continue to get my new business on its feet. But the increased inquiries have been so wonderful and encouraging.  The news of Maryland’s same sex weddings brought a huge smile to my face. I look forward to continuing to meet the amazing vendors in the DC area – those I met in 2012 exceeded my expectations for both quality and friendliness.

So let’s do it, 2013. Here’s to conquering fear, looking ahead, and giving it your all. If we do that, we just might fly.

Thanksgiving recap

My husband and I alternate holidays - it's our own way of attempting to maintain balance between families and also not stretching ourselves too much when it comes to travel (it can be a tricky part of marriage, that whole holiday thing. Some great discussion about it here if you're interested). This year it was "my" family's Thanksgiving, and my family traveled down from the East Coast to stay with us as we hosted our first Thanksgiving. Let me just say this outright: My husband is an awesome chef and I'm a super-lucky woman (he claims you have to be professional to be a "chef" - so I'll just say he's a kick-ass home chef). He and his father and brother went hunting for geese, forgoing the traditional turkey for another very holiday-esque bird. He also has butchery experience, so it was really great for him to be a part of the process from beginning to end - to hunt, kill, butcher and deliciously prepare the bird.

He did the menu planning...

I did the other planning, including our very rustic tabletop decorations, the pies, and the overall oh-crap-I-have-to-do-a-ton-of-cleaning-and-laundry stuff that always arises when your entire family is coming to town. Lists were made and crossed off (I am a planner, after all) - and with family having arrived, we were ready to feast and celebrate.

The meal eventually consisted of multiple courses, stretched throughout the day and well into the night. It was pretty darned awesome:

An oyster toast (freshly shucked by both my husband and my brother-in-law). Salmon pate. An amuse bouche of roasted black salt oyster with pancetta, fresh horseradish and chorizo oil on a bed of carrot top salad with lemon vinaigrette. Butternut squash soup with blue crab, garlic sage croutons and fried sage. Braised wild goose hash with sweet potato, chorizo, crab, bay oysters and winter herbs. Seared goose breast with rosemary potatoes and brussels sprouts, garlic sage and carrot top carrots. Finally ending with my grandmother's apple pie recipe and pumpkin pie.

This is a wonderful article that inspired my husband to make the meal reflect the eastern shore - a great read.

heaven.

I was feeling thankful, indeed.

Bubbly optimism

  A wise woman (aka, an awesome friend) once gifted me with a bottle of champagne and told me that you should always have a bottle in the fridge for out-of-the-blue celebrations. I popped the bottle she gave me when my husband had a surprise promotion and was so thrilled we had it.

I love this recommendation. It's easy. It doesn't have to be a fancy, expensive bottle. It could be Prosecco, or any other kind of sparkling wine you enjoy (but you do need to enjoy it). And it doesn't take up much room in the fridge. BUT - it makes a small celebration feel awfully special in an awfully easy way.

And I love knowing it's there. The antici....pation feels great. Every time I reach into my fridge for that morning's milk, or to help prep for dinner, my eyes linger over the bottle and I consider when we might open it. What will life throw in our path that will give us good cause to celebrate? I guess it's my small way of not only being a good hostess, but a bit of an optimist as well.